PLAYA BLANCA, COLOMBIA

Photo by: Miss Nay

Let's agree that as common courtesy, one should never be awoken from a nap on the beach unless either A. They're turning red as a lobster. Or B. It's time to go. Be warned of some vendors here, as they are really aggressive; like the guy at the bar who thinks "not interested" means "try harder". I was napping on the beach when suddenly I felt something touch my foot. Instantly, I popped up to a woman, pouring a cool bucket of water on my foot, her hands kneaded between my toes. "Massage?" She asked me nonchalantly. 

She looked me in the eye, with my foot in her hands. LIKE THIS WAS NORMAL. Do you understand how weird that is, to be woken up by a stranger who is massaging your foot and then looking you in the eye?! 

"Don't worry. Relax. Just a sample now." She cooed. 

I tried pulling my foot away, but this woman had a caveman grip on my foot. 

"Umm, no thanks. Not interested." I shyly said. I was afraid a bit of what she'd do to my foot. 

"10 minutes only $10"

Was she really trying to charge me for this unwanted molestation?! What is this 50 Shades of Gray? No way! 

"NO. Thank you. I'm sorry." I said firmly.

And she finally released the claws, setting my feet loose.  My pups were able to breathe again. Whew!

To be honest, a foot massage on the beach actually sounds glorious, and probably would have been amazing, but I get mad when I get waken up from my naps. I'm kind of like a 2 year old like that. Especially if there's no food involved. Or you know, if it's just outright creepy. And don't be fooled by the "free sample" though, cause they'll still expect you to pay. If you want a massage go for it, but just be warned. Ain't nothin free in this world honey. 

Comment